Doris and Larisa are a family without name. They are not united in marriage, but by the two children and their love of work. They have inherited a good work ethic from their parents, who in turn have inherited this from their parents, who in turn have inherited… This is despite the label under which they were born and which should have been stuck on their forehead like a palm thrown over their face.
As you face Uspenia Church in Botosani, where Mihai Eminescu was baptised, if you glance hard over your left shoulder so that your body is turning, you can see a tailor shop for women and men with logo with yellow letters on a pink background. The small shop is wide open in a mobile shack, in front of an old building with bricks openly visible like a grin. A girl walks hastily alongside a boy. The girl pushes a coloured plastic bicycle, on which swings a child, a boy with almond eyes. The boy opens the metal door for her and all three pass along the tailor shop with yellow writing on pink background.
There was one of those deceptive days of February, when you need to shield your eyes from the sun in order to look at the sky. The young parents took their child out for a walk. Larisa has long hair gathered into a bun. She looks like a schoolgirl, but she is 28. She makes sweet coffee, black as a chess piece. Doris, her husband, blows slowly over the coffee and sips just as carefully. Their house is small. They have plasma TV which is half of the wall on which you can watch like in the cinema. Scooby Doo is eating a sandwich, laughter is heard in the house.
Doris and Larisa have been together since high school. They met at Nicolae Iorga Pedagogical High School in Botosani. He had finished 12th grade and she was in the 11th grade when they fell in love.
“I got married in the 11th grade. I continued and I got to the 12th grade”, tells Larisa, while their 26 months old toddler pulls on her sleeve. She has not weaned him yet.
“The fact that I knew what “school” was, her parents knew what it meant, and I myself had finished school, I encouraged her to continue and we have supported her.”
“He was waking up the same time with me; he was taking me to school.”
“She was pregnant during the Baccalaureate”, recalls Doris.
“Yes, I was nine months pregnant, I was in the papers, the ambulance arrived specially for me, for my other boy Emilian.”
A quick shot
There was lots of joy in the family when Emilian arrived. The parents married out of love, not obligation. “I do not agree with these traditions, only the Kalderash still follow them. A while ago we were following the tradition too, especially in the rural area, but nowadays it is not followed anymore”, says Larisa. Doris was so proud that his firstborn was a boy that he wanted him to follow in his footsteps and go to school. Just as his parents sent him to school. The eldest is studying violin at the Arts High School in Botosani. He is the pride of his father, and he is studying to play his father’s favourite instrument, whom he learned from his father, who in turn learned it from his father…
“My parents were at home while I was at school; we were managing as best we could. I was in my grandparent’s care. My grandfather was a blacksmith, a craft which was highly sought after in the village. Many times we did not have electricity so I was doing my homework by candle light. Every year I was on the second or third place at the end of the school year, even if the best in my studies.” “Dub, dub, dub!” is suddenly heard . Larisa is calling Sebastian with a warm voice. The child is hiding behind the armchair and bursts into a powerful laughing.
Doris has always been among the first, but never the first. “The teachers could not afford to give me the highest grade, even if my knowledge and competences were better than the mayor’s daughter, or the policeman’s son. Do you understand? This is reality, no matter who you are, Romanian or Romani, it does not matter”. The surprise came at the gymnasium final exam, when Doris showed up just like any other test. “Whatever will be, will be”, he said to himself, took a quick shot of alcohol, following the Geography teacher’s advice and started writing. His grandmother started scolding him when he got home. He felt too wretched to answer her. “Erm, I failed, leave me alone. I might get a 4 or 5.” She was the one who would push me from behind. « Do not feel down, you will find a job, you’ll see, like the old ones did. » But back then, I did not take notice”, remembers Doris.
Better than the mayor’s daughter
The results came back after a few days. Doris was surprised, just like everyone else. They were looking at him as if he was an alien. “You do realise, a poor Romani boy came first”, says Doris watching his youngest son. Larisa is sipping his words just like her sweet coffee and she hums. “Do you remember, the village people were telling you, the people were looking at you, «boy, you did better than the mayor’s girl»” she tells her husband. He nods and stares dreaming.
He was lucky with his parents. Larisa was lucky too. They did not leave her alone, and now she is a school mediator in Botosani, and he is head over heels in European programs for minorities, such as Association B-Right Media or Agency for Community Development “Inter-Activa”. Since 2006, he got funds through PHARE. Doris said he had to work twice as hard in order to become so heavily involved. “I do not see that we are so discriminated against, but you need to work hard and learn at least twice as much in order to be equal to the others”, he says. They have helped Romani to finish their studies, to integrate in the society and to finance small agricultural businesses. He was hit by the system and it confused him.
“Look what happens in a program. When a tractor was bought, there was a person who was offering technical assistance for the program, and the Government asked, «is this invoice OK?» You don’t know in advance how to deal with the projects. «Yes, it is OK». They got the stamps. After five or six years, they said it was not OK. Political issues. They made that person return the money; they found some mistakes. Even if they know they are not right, that you are right, you have to take them to court. They are counting on it, leave it. Do you think they will go to court? And the lady is waiting in line, of course her case will not be heard. You see what happens in the Parliament, they would take her before Udrea or … The lady is already waiting for a year and still waiting. ANAF is not joking. They come and evaluate the assets to less than half of what they are worth, while in this period the organisation is not allowed to apply for other projects because there is a litigation. Do you see what games they are playing, so they can stop you? The situation was very painful, because he took care of that project from the beginning. Larisa knows everything, and she has helped him. She is rocking Sebastian, who does not fit in her arms. She lets him to breastfeed a little longer while she sips her coffee.
Cichi-chan
A handful of people are trying to break up the taboos about Romani in Botosani, but, says Doris, there is another army which comes from behind and tries to destroy everything. On top of this army, there are two to three lost soldiers on the inside.
“There are, indeed, several noisy persons who pick up on people, like Cichi-chan, an eight or nine year old boy that is known to all the inhabitants of the Old Centre for his audaciousness, who do not have anything to do. I have scolded them many times, «go somewhere else, do not go in the Old Centre anymore». If a foreigner arrives, a Frenchman, he visits the tourist sights and sees Cichi-chan who is making a lot of noise and stands out”, tells Doris saddened. If only Cichi-chan would have had the parents Larisa and Doris had…
“They have an education and did not achieve anything”
“The environment you are coming from matters. If the parents say: «Forget about school; what do you need school for? »…”
“And parents to push you from behind.”
“If the parents push you from behind «go, go, you will turn out someone, go», if they say, «no, what do you need school for? Look, others have an education and did not achieve anything», where are we going?” asks Larisa.
Sebastian has disappeared and reappears suddenly shouting something in Romani, which only the parents understand. “He said he has weed”, translated Larisa. “Well done, son”, says Doris. Changing between the two languages happens far too quickly for me to realise. They would like for Sebastian to start nursery as soon as possible so he could learn the Romanian language.
In the Old Centre in Botosani, on the first floor of an old building with bricks on display like in a grin, live Doris Dascaliuc and Larisa Azolufei. The family with two boys, who go out in the courtyard which is shielded from the eyes of the world by a tailor’s shop.
This article can be read here http://unblogobisnuit.com/2015/04/21/familia-cu-drag-de-scoala
